A Found Journal

First off, no I didn't. Seriously. I may have been a little drunk, and you a little stoned, but I really didn't. You were on the phone with that, sorry, bitch of a boyfriend, and I needed to show you that new multitool I just bought, and you weren't having it. Had to "work things out" or some shit. Please. You're just friends who're fucking, right? That's what we all are. But somehow whenever I bring it up, you have this notion of the sanctity of what's going on, the love you feel (gag), and your hopes for the future. Tied to your damn cellphone. Smell a campfire, go out in the winter with too few clothes, rub your hands in the dirt! Live, mama, live!

You're Catholic, right? Unmarried Catholic, yes? By your view your sexual relationship with fuckstick is a serious sin anyway. Coulda told you that, and me not even being God. Does it stop you? Hell to the no. And the things I hear around the sewing circle. He puts it where? Seriously??? I never would have thought you'd go for that. I am, however, admittedly intrigued. I mean, if you want in your behavior to emulate the pracitices of diety-destroyed cities, that's your affair. I mean, when in Rome, or Sodom, right? We're a buttfucking kind of world. But you're disgusting. The worst kind of whore, that's what you are. Burn, burn, burn.

Since you'll never read this, I've been thinking about bludgeoning you to death with a Maglite, and burying you in the woods near my apartment. Not nice, no, not nice at all. But in the secret place of this bent notebook the words look bold and electric. Kill. Bury. Delicious.

But in the interim, I hope we can be friends. After you dump your whore of a boyfriend, bitch-ass trick that he is. Maybe something more, even though we're a god-cursed sodomite. I guess I'll have to let it go, you with your face bumping the damn wall with his throbbing member turning you inside out...

Anyway, I didn't do it. Call me. Not that you're gonna read this. I guess I can take you back, tainted and used. Seriously, I'm big enough. I forgive you.